A Spring Chicken Date

Chefrades and Cheflettes,

I’m a gastro-hedonist.

There are few sacrosanct rules in my culinary philosophy. (Full disclosure -  my “culinary philosophy” basically involves going schizo in the pantry, adding butter to perfectly adequate recipes and shoveling starch into my face until I feel my body threatening to go oopsie on my denim.)

Were I to start itemizing commandments, however, somewhere at the top of the list of inviolate food rules would be the following:

“Thou shalt look no further than Jacques Pepin when seasoning poultry.”

Seriously. The Jacques – which the philologists tell me is French for Jack – knows him some chicken.

Papa Jacques can salt a bird. Papa Jacques can truss a bird.
He’s now 75, and if he wanted to Papa Jacques could raise that bird from the dead, turn it into a doubly-endowed lizard (just saying, wtf has evolution done for me lately?), and make it taste like strawberry shortcake. Fact.

In honor of his fowlness, and the glory that is finally Spring in NY, and my own spring chicken (Curry), I hereby declare a Spring Chicken theme on WonderBread Curry.

No guff, it’s time for Spicy Ginger and Lemon Chicken.

And, because the palette is turning desperately toward fresher veggie notes, a Vietnamese rice noodle with: grilled tofu and peppers, coated in soy/rice wine/sesame oil/ginger/chili. Throw some toasted sesame seeds on there, too. Can you have too many?* *Answer: No.

Back to you Jacques (Recipe Link).

Also, WonderBread has contributed the first mishap to The Gag Real.

This outfit has worked _0_ days without injury. (Safety veggie peeler my eye.)

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